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Today's Band Shirt: Metal for Nerds (so for everyone)

Mississippi Bones Makes the Metalest Metal

metalhead wearing mississippi bones shirt
Mississippi Bones metal band shirt

Music for Head Banging Nerds

Mississippi Bones makes the metalest of all metal. They sprang out of the ADD fugue state of their founding member, Jared Collins, when he listened to the gravel-pit-in-a-tornado that is Under the Sign of the Black Mark by Bathory. Like at least two other metal heads before him, Collins heard that album and thought, "What a fucking mess. This is metal?... Know what, I could do this."

So he did. He and his conspirator, Dusty Donley, started making records in the grand tradition of nobody in particular except metal writ large. They carry on the metal banner of being unapologetically loud, self-aware nerds, sharing their love of their particular alt-culture at decibel levels that make you bleed from the ears.

They describe themselves as schlocky sludge metal.

I describe them as barely evolved and making the best of messes.

They write songs about Cthulhu and vampires and D&D. Which would be funny by itself, but not quite catchy enough to hold your attention. Nah, they also have that magic of writing only the dirtiest headbangers in the world.

I've never seen them live, because they refuse to leave Ohio. All their albums are great, though.

They make hella fine rock and roll in the intersectional zeitgeist where the heart of metal sits. They don't sound like Judas Priest or Led Zeppelin, except in how they wear their nerd loudly, then make loud songs about it.

They sound a little like tired Disturbed or world-wise Avenged Sevenfold, but good, and more punk rock than either.

Good shit. Especially recommend "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep". Good track. It’s sort of their “Battle of Evermore.”

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